Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Ah parenting...

Being a parent is probably the most challenging part of my life. I have been a mother for 9 years now and my two beautiful children never cease to amaze me. Today is Tuesday and I'm already exhausted....and there are still 3 more weekdays left...ugh!
My son has AD/HD and ODD. I have been trying so hard to do the very best to give him the tools to help him live a less challenging life. We have gotten medication and therapy in place, but now we are faced with the difficult piece....self control. He was doing so well the last 3 weeks and then all of the sudden...yesterday and today happened. He had great days during school and I can only think that he held in his behavior and it sort of exploded. He had a major problem during after school care yesterday that continued through the evening until he was asleep. Today he had a great day at school and after school care, but was out of control again at home. We have a tally system in place and yesterday he lost 7 tallies in a matter of 4 hours. Today, he lost the rest of the tallies and I was forced to ground him tomorrow and Thursday, which takes away his den meeting for cub scouts. I sat him down tonight and asked what is going on because something had to have happened or changed for him to have such a dramatic change in his behavior. At first he said he didn't know and told me nothing has happened. Then he explained to me that some of the 5th grade kids in the after school care have been picking on him and being mean. I told him he needs to tell the staff and his response was that he does, but they say they will handle it and then do nothing. I told him I will talk to the staff about that part, but he also needs to toughen up and learn to just ignore these kids and/or blowing off what they have to say instead of reacting and escalating the situation.
My son is soooo extremely smart, but at the same time, he has a very hard time understanding the dynamics of social interaction with others and how his behavior truly impacts others. I watch him and wish so badly that I can make him understand....but all I can do is continue working with him and hope that it will click in his brain. It's rather challenging to keep up with it for me because the more energy I have to exhert with his behavior, the more fatigued I become. I am currently researching a few books I can buy to hopefully get a better understanding of the dynamics of his conditions and some tools that I can utilize at home to help him. I truly want this wonderful boy to succeed and conquer this!
As for my daughter....she unfortunately doesn't get as much attention becuase of her brother's behavior. I have been trying to make sure that she gets some special attention as well so she doesn't feel so left out. She also has been challenging me a bit more...not wanting to do her cleaning and throwing attitude here and there about certain things. She also has been taking advantage of bedtime and not going to bed when she is told to. However, the difference with her is that it only takes the loss of 1 tally before she steps back in line and does what she is supposed to. I do praise her for her good behavior and am working with her to let me deal with her brother and some of the things he does to drive her nuts (like take her juices that he knows are hers). She is having some challenges with her reading. She enjoys reading, but just like her mom, can find so many other things more interesting to do so she doesn't meet the goals she has set for herself. I'm hoping this will change so she can continue advancing her reading level. I also wish I could afford to get her into an art program outside of school because I want her to develop her talents.

For now, it's getting late and my head is less clogged now that I got some of my thoughts about parenting out of my head so tired & fatigue is setting in.....I bid you farewell for now.

Until next time...

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